Happy birthday Now Lead
It’s been one year since I started Now Lead. Why this, why now, and what does it mean to me?
My purpose and work is the same but this move has opened up how I go about it - and with whom - to allow for even more creativity and flexibility.
I’m still collaborating with colleagues: some new and some known. Others are partners-in-the-mind. We share practices, ideas and dilemmas, and care deeply about each other’s work and impact.
Making a move isn’t always easy. My career - and life - has always been about the small and big nudges needed to feel a little more ‘me’, to allow a little more of my inner world find expression in my outer world. I ask myself whether I’m on the right path, doing my right work, with the right energy...and if not, what adjustments can I make? It could be life-changing, tectonic-plate-shifting moves, or more subtle side-step moves. It can feel like being forced to jump between moving trains or simply stepping off a bus to enjoy a walk instead.
Marianne Williamson wrote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?”.
Living your light
There have been a handful of humans that have helped me immeasurably. They didn’t afford me moments of self-doubt, self-concern, or inhibition. They didn’t even authorise or encourage me; they just got out of the way, handed work over to me, or shoved me to the front. They treated me as an equal and as a friend whether I was ten or forty years their junior. I learnt that love and respect can show itself in many ways.
Going independent may sound like a huge leap but for me it was a natural step. Much of that is thanks to those people, and trusting my instincts. When the moment of decision came I felt calm, clear, and intrigued. I’ve learnt that’s how my intuition expresses itself.
I think we all have a job to do to learn our inner signals and signs, which to trust and follow and which to be cautious of. For example I know my traps can be the feeling of admiration, and the thought ‘this is it, this is the answer’. Those are the moments I need to check my data and do some homework before going further. How does your intuition talk to you?
What’s in a name
Why Now Lead? I believe in drawing on people who know what they’re talking about, so I worked with an expert in brand identity and design. I care deeply about making this work accessible, both financially and intellectually and the name needed to reflect that.
Accessibility is a big issue in our field. I volunteered for many years as a youth leader in community development, and then worked as a professional in conflict transformation. Later I discovered the thread for me was group dynamics, and after much searching I eventually discovered the field of systems psychodynamics. I started doing more work in the private sector. It allowed for a different scale of work and afforded me the opportunity to develop my craft with the best in the field. It also made me painfully aware of the privilege of knowledge, access, networks, and budgets that I hadn’t had before.
I now talk to clients about what they can afford - or offer pro bono - and have been conscious of times when others tried to pay consultants different rates despite doing the same work; sadly I’ve been at the receiving end of imbalances myself. Being fair, flexible, and calibrating to the environment and what’s affordable is so important.
Language can also create a gap: it can be liberating in its accuracy but it can also be a barrier and a real trigger. I love finding ways of putting words to my experience and ideas, attempting to write and speak in ways that make sense for others. But I know I can also be a bit complex or academic, and nothing is less helpful than not making sense. My hope was that Now Lead would make sense: it’s a call to action, a no-nonsense statement. Just get on with it.
Or as some of my most cherished mentors would say: take up your role!
And the full stop at the end of the logo? I might be serious about taking action but not without reflection. The gap before the full stop is that moment of pause. It could also represent a hesitancy, obstacle, or something outside of our awareness. We can construct clever ways of denying our deepest desires and gifts, and of avoiding the greatest learning and resources hiding in the shadows.
So happy birthday Now Lead, may this year be a witness and companion as many more people and organisations step into their most purposeful, brilliant selves.
Click here to listen to a podcast where I talk about transitions with Rebekah O’Rourke, and for a link to her book on the deep and daily work of learning from experience.